Emerald Symphony
by Glazerienne
Summary: Never accept candy from Zelretch if you don't want to be iseka-ed. . like In Narutoverse, Warring States Era. Minor three-way crossover with Naruto, Fate Series and Harry Potter.


**Summary:**Never accept any candy from Zelretch if you don't want to be isekai-ed somewhere. . like for example, in Narutoverse.

**0000**

**_In which Tajima Uchiha is NOT a cold hearted bastard who only treats his sons as weapons. ._**

**Uchiha Hideout,**

Tajima Uchiha hugged the bundle on his chest. If you look closely, a pair of small and soft hands were gripping the cloth between his armor.

Landing on the gates, he just glance on the guards and immediately went to his home. Once he arrived, he was greeted by his lovely wife, Uchiha Mayumi accompanied by his eldest, the eight year old Madara. Next to him is Izuna who was six.

"Welcome home, Husband." Mayumi smiled lovingly upon her husband, accepting the kiss he bestowed upon her.. .much to the disgust of the kids.

"I'm home, Mayumi." Tajima smiled at his sons. "Madara, Izuna. I hope you behaved for your mother."

"Of course, Otou-sama!" Madara exclaimed enthusiastically. His loud voice woke the bundle up. "Otou-sama. . what is _that?"_"Before you think this is a bastard of mine, Mayumi, she's not my daughter. I would never cheat you." Tajima sigh in relief when the killing intent focused on him vanished. "Green eyes, don't be shy ~"

Emerald green eyes met his onyx ones as the Uchiha Clan Head pulled down the coat he is wearing. The said bundle was put down, revealing a six year old girl with messy raven hair (same dark ones like the Uchiha's) tied in a braided bun with cattleya flower clip. Uneven bangs covered her forehead. She was wearing a black foreign puffy dress that reach the floor underneath her black feathered cloak. The said cloak had a symbol of line inside a triangle inside a circle with silver and green pipings and an fox emblem on her neck.

She shyly looked at his family. "He. .Hello. ."

Mayumi squealed at the sheer cuteness. The girl's self preservation (or rather fan girl/boy radar) warned her so she tried to hide behind his leg.

"Mayumi, please. Cattleya don't like people trying to hug her to death." Tajima said as he pat Cattleya's head. "Cattleya, meet my beloved wife, Mayumi. Next to her is my oldest, Madara and Izuna. Everyone, this is Cattleya Peverell. I met her in the Land of Snow. She will be our ward and part of our family."

"Are you a ninja, Ca-tu-re-ya?" Madara asked, blushing when Cattleya wince hearing him butcher her name _so _painfully.

"Please just call me Riri. Anija used to call me that."she told Madara softly. "And to answer your question, no, I am not a ninja. I am a Sorceress and a Magus." _Dear Sage, this girl is too adorable for her own good!!! _

Izuna furrowed his eyebrows. "Sorce -- what?"

"Magical users, Izuna-kun." Tajima answered after removing his armor. "Madara-kun, take your new sister and Izuna to the kitchen for some tea. Your mother and I will talk a bit."

"Yes, Otou-sama." Madara took the younger ones hands and guided them towards the kitchen.

* * *

Mayumi glance at her husband after his bath. Smiling adoringly at Tajima, she waited until her husband is sitting beside her dressed on his casual yukata.

"Mayumi. ."

"Hm?"

"The Elders should never known _what __exactly _Riri is."

Mayumi hummed as she combed his hair using the comb she summoned somewhere. "Care to explain, husband?"

_Flashback,_

_Tajima just finished his mission in the Land of Snow which consist of assassination of a noble. . guarded by a random Senju Shinobi. He manage to complete his mission when **something **grabbed him inside the cave where he is currently recuperating._

_**"Uchiha Tajima. ." **a grave voice spoke._

_Looking up, the Uchiha Clan Head froze when he saw the black silhouette of the Shinigami themselves.__"S-Shinigami-sama. . " Tajima murmured, shutting his Mangekyo Sharing an off. "Are you here to take me?"_

_Is that his imagination or the being snorted?_

**_"No. Actually, I have a small favor to ask you."_**

_"If our God say so,"_

_**"Flattery, Uchiha." **a pause. "**Do you even have an idea how hard to search for a none bastard version of you, Tajima? Too HARD and annoying. That's what. "**_

_The Uchiha Head merely listened as the Shinigami ranted how **annoying **his **bastard **alternates. Tajima cannot help but to be relieve as he **used **to be an overbearing asshole before Mayumi beat that arrogance out of his system._

_(His wife is a mountain to conquer.)_

_**"Anyway, I want you to take care of my Master. You cannot say no since without her, your dear wife will die a year after the birth of your twin boys. Also, Mistress is an Uchiha and Senju Magnet so good luck beating Senju-Uchiha's trying to court her. ." **Shinigami paused. **"Also, one of your Elders is her Servant. He will help you protect her Chastity."**_

_"Raijin, what the hell are you saying? And please desist traumatizing the poor man." a soft voice spoke._

_Tajima blinked as a cute six year old stood in front of him without sound.__"My apologies, Uchiha-sama. My name is Cattleya Peverell, Raijin's Master." the girl smiled at him. "Please take care of me." _

"Shinigami-sama gave her to me. Don't give me that look, I speak the truth." Tajima rub his temple. "He said about 'candy' and 'vampire menace' and all but shoved Riri-chan to me. I tried to refuse but. . ." he gave his wife a suffering look as Mayumi burst out laughing. "She's too cute for her own good."

* * *

**Kitchen**,

Cattleya, now known as Riri took a careful sip of her tea. A bit bitter but not unpleasant.

"A lovely brew. Thank you." she told Madara who beamed at the praise. Glancing at Izuna, she tilted her head in confusion as they watched Izuna running around wearing her cloak.

"Izuna, that's not yours." Madara scolded his younger brother. "Return it to Riri-chan."

Izuna blushed in embarrassment and about to take off the cloak --

"I don't mind Izuna-kun borrowing my cloak, Madara-kun." Riri told the older boy. Smiling softly at Izuna. "However, please ask for my permission first, Izuna-kun."

"I'm sorry, Riri-chan. I should have asked first." the younger Uchiha bow down his head.

"Just don't do it again, okay? Taking things without permission could cause someone to hate you. Remember it, okay?"

"Hai, Riri-chan." Izuna caressed the cloak in awe. "This cloak is so soft! Like Okaa-sama's silk kimonos!"

"Its a family heirloom. According to Anija, it was given by Father to his first child, which is me. . Anija was actually my Servant." Riri stood up and fixed the cloak clasp at Izuna's neck. Pulling the hood over the younger boy's head. . .

Izuna vanished.

Madara spat his tea and start screaming. And flailing.

The chibified Sorceress bursts into giggles as both brothers ran around like headless chickens. One visible and one invisible.

So when Tajima and Mayumi arrived, they blinked at the utter stupidity of their son.

"Izuna-kun, take off the hood." Tajima rolled his eyes remembering the blasted Invisibility Cloak of Riri. . which is a huge help avoiding enemies and hiding her from dojutsu users. "Riri-chan, you should have told Izuna about your cloak first and please don't use it for pranking the Elders."

"Otou-sama, the Cloak is harmless. Also, I have placed a tracking charm on it so I would know where it is." Riri pointed out. "In addition, Izuna-kun's feet is visible since the cloak _knew _I am not wearing them."

The man blinked. "Its sentient?"

"Of course! Its from Raijin's own cloak! Anyway, its harmless. . .and one of the few things I could allow them to borrow." the young girl shrugged her shoulders. Summoning her cloak, it left Izuna pouting while Madara stared at her in awe. Folding her cloak, she hid it inside her green pouch that was hidden on her dress pocket.

"Just make sure your things were hidden appropriately, Riri-chan. Even harmless things can be used as a weapon against you." Mayumi reprimanded Riri who nodded in acceptance.

"I understand, Okaa-sama. I will make sure of it." the young girl politely replied.

"Finish your tea, Riri-chan. You do need to take a nap after our travel from Snow Country." Tajima spoke. "I still don't understand how are you not freezing cold on that dress of yours."

"My clothes had automatic warming/cold charms sewn into them. Even if I ran around in sleeveless and shorts in winter, I will be okay." Riri replied after finishing her tea. "I could feel Anija in here. He will be in the door in 5. .4. . 3. . 2. . and 1."

The front door harshly slammed opened as hurried footsteps approach the kitchens, revealing an Uchiha Elder in his mid fifties.

"Shirou-sama," Mayumi and Tajima uttered.

"Anija." the emerald eyed girl smiled at him. "Remove the glamour, please."

"Well, hello to you too, Little Master. I'm fine, thank you and this is what you called reincarnation." Uchiha Shirou replied sarcastically earning a set of giggles from the six year old. "Gods, you're so tiny and adorably homicidal ~"

"I'm not the one who had a semi pink hair." Riri, the adorably homicidal little shit poke the sensitive issue. "Why was that? Can't your hair decide what color to choose so it just compromise?" _Well, Shirou's hair is light pink. . _

A flick on her forehead was the answer. "Ow! Anija!"

Shirou rub the hidden seal behind his ear, revealing a twenty eight year old male with dark silver hair, tan skin and liquid gold eyes. Glancing at the Couple. "Mayumi-hime, Tajima-kun, I'm moving here. . and no, you don't have a choice."

"This is my house?" Tajima pointed out weakly.

"I'm making my Roasted Ram Steak for a month."

"Why of course," The Uchiha Clan head immediately changed tune making his family snickered. **Everyone **knows that Shirou's cooking is to die for.

"I'll make Black forest tomorrow for dessert. Will Anija upgrade the kitchen or you will make one?" Riri asked.

"I think I will move my Kitchen here. Mayumi-hime's kitchen is hers and we both had a tendency of being possessive." Shirou casually removed her hairpins allowing her waist length wavy hair free. "When did you arrived? I just sensed you earlier."

"Two days ago in Snow Country," she replied, yawning. "Raijin threatened Otou-sama. Last time I remember, Sensei gave me a pink candy. . "

"I told you stop accepting **anything **from that fanged menace." The Counter Guardian picked her up. "You once told me that you are malnourished as a child. . good thing you are just underweight."

"Hm, don't mind being a child again. . " Riri mumbled. "Good night. . " by that, she's out like a light.

"Can we speak about this tomorrow? I need to tuck Riri-chan and Tajima-kun, you need rest." Shirou then gave Mayumi a deadpan look when she giggled. "I said rest, hime. Not more work."

"Shirou-sama!" Tajima groaned in embarrassment as the boys blinked in confusion. " Stop laughing, Mayumi!"

* * *

**Shirou Emiya**, now known as Shirou Uchiha was born forty five years **_before_** his Master's arrival. He could honestly blamed it to Zelretch however, he knew Raijin --Riri's Death partner --had a hand in this.

Being born into a war laden era where **ninjas** are well known rather than their samurai counterparts is shocking especially when he learned about that strange energy (chakra) running in his body along his magical crest.

Nice~

Being born into a Clan of stuck up drama queens? _Fucking hell.__(On the bright side, he could been born at the Hyuuga Clan. . . fuck.)__Shirou_ doesn't like being a stuck up asshole, thank you very much. Even he is born as the only child of late Uchiha Elder Setsuna. . he pursue being a blacksmith much to his poor mother's exasperation.

However, when he met the chibi Uchiha Tajima, he start cursing in _twenty four _different languages before practically raising the said boy himself. Sure, his genetic assholeness was taken cared of Mayumi who was his original apprentice and ward.

Uchiha's had a weakness against pretty and deadly partners after all. .

Anywaaay, being an Elder had so many perks especially when Trolling his fellow old geezers. Add to the fact he kept his handsome looks. Sure, waiting for Cattleya is boring but worth it.

Point added that majority of the Senjus _does not _hate him on sight.

Tucking Cattleya in the futon after changing her clothes into her favorite Lion Pajamas, Shirou kissed her forehead before leaving.

(If he slap a seven layered protection bounded field, no one will know.)

Returning to the kitchen, he activated another bounded field since Madara drag Izuna to check the newly born Ryouta.

"So. . how long Raijin threaten you?" He asked after accepting the tea prepared by Mayumi.

"I won't say threatening, Shirou-sama. . ." Tajima replied. "In addition, Riri-chan is very polite."

"That she is," Shirou took a sip of his tea. "To be honest, when I first met her, Riri-chan is a reckless, impulsive girl with no self preservation and she had this huge _people saving thing_." The albino stared at the window. "A very contrast of how she acts **now." **

"Isn't that a good thing, Shirou-sama?" Mayumi asked.

"Indeed it is. Riri-chan is born and raised as what her Professor once called **a pig for slaughter.**" The couple stiffen as the full implications hit them like a ton of bricks. "Originally, the pressure and learning the truth she is conditioned to die for the greater good of a clan who did nothing but to bury their heads under the sand caused her to snap and kill all of them, sparing the kids below thirteen and a handful of innocents." Shirou faced them. "Please, Cattleya is been hurt too much. We hope, Me, Raijin and Zelretch that this vacation would allow her to heal."

"We would do our best, Shirou-sama." Tajima promised.

The Counter Guardian smiled. "That's all I ask."

* * *

Cattleya actually _had _an idea why Raijin and Zelretch pulled this shit. What she does not understand is **why **they are doing this.

The Eleventh Mistress of Death was above the Uchiha Hideout, flying around. Black butterfly wings with green 'eyes' made of flames sprouted from her back.

Two laps around, she saw Madara and Izuna sparring being watched by Shirou. A smirk appeared in her lips, she flew down and shot them once.

The Uchiha brothers shrieked in shock while Shirou rolled his eyes in exasperation but did not stopped her from ambushing the two boys.

"Aerial attack, minions!" Shirou cackled as he threw several shurikens towards the screaming brothers. His weapons are blunted but they still **hurt. **

_Ah, now he understands why Zelretch likes trolling for shits and giggles._While Cattleya kicked Madara's and Izuna's asses.

_(Near the future, Madara would realize that the 'eyes' of Riri's wings represents **his **Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan.)_

* * *

Its been four years since Cattleya got isekai-ed by Zelretch and Raijin. The Uchiha twins, Takumi and Yakumi were born a five months ago. The same twins Raijin spoke to her.

In another time, according to her partner, the twins died along Mayumi when an assassin manage to enter the Clan House.

**Well,**Cattleya didn't acknowledged the idiot who entered the twins room. Taking a sip of her tea, the ninja-- From Kurama Clan --is now pinned on the wall with different sharp weapons.

"Good evening, Shinobi-san. Thank you for visiting. I was getting bored anyway. ." a Lazy emerald eye met their furious brown ones. "And hungry."

The last word made the Shinobi flinch. "W-what?"

Cattleya stood up, relishing the fear and utter terror the Kurama was exhibiting.

"I always wonder if the taste of chakra is different from Magic." the ten year old placed her palm on his chest. "**_Now, I will know. Ittadakimasu~"_****_Screams _**was never heard outside.

* * *

Shirou rolled his eyes when he saw her covered in blood. Cattleya was chewing something he did not want to know.

"Chakra coils taste like peas." she told him, much to the horrified fascination of Every Uchiha who heard her. "I don't like peas."

"I thought it was ampalaya." the counter guardian pointed out.

"Same thing." Cattleya walked passed him. "I'm taking a bath."

"Do so, you reek." Shirou rub his nose. "And don't do it again."

"Experimenting upon prisoners isn't prohibited especially if they are rapist, child killers and child abusers." the emerald eyed witch wiped the blood from her lips. "Don't forget it, Shirou. My own instinct would demand their blood. Children are to be cherished, not to be killed just because they are your enemies child."

"Of course, Mistress."

* * *

Half of the Uchiha Elder Council **loathed** Cattleya.

Why? Because they cannot control her and she is under Uchiha Shirou's wing. The last time an Elder touched one of Shirou's so called _ducklings, _the idiot was used as Mayumi's live dummy for Medical studies.

"How. . disgusting." Cattleya flick her pure silver zigzag sword, making the blood from its blade flew. Turning around, her snow white Victorian dress billowed behind her. "How many times do I have to tell you, _children below seven are **innocent." **_

"They are Shinobi. There is no such thing as **innocents** in the battlefield." Elder Yakumo answered.

She gave him a look. "Be as it may but this . . **human**," the way she addressed Elder Hisoka left a wince. "**_hunted _**and ordered the death of one Senju Kawarama. His words are, _The bloodier, the better' _I believe is."

Honestly, Cattleya won't make a fuss if the boy was killed in the middle of the battlefield. But being hunted and treated like a new born bunny by a pack of rogue wolves?

"And should I tell you what made me furious, Otou-sama, Anija?" Emerald green eyes shifted into blood red with golden cross pupils as killing intent flooded the entire Naka Shrine.

**_"They raped his dead body!!" _**The Eleventh Mistress shouted, shadows flickered as roars of her **[Black Skeleton Army] **made their anguish known. "**_There are things I could ignore but this. . . I drew a Fucking line on this shit! I never forgive this kind of abomination and I will never hesitate to kill those who oppose this rule. Raijin, make sure that thing would suffer!"_**

**_"Of course, Beloved Mistress." _**Raijin relish the terror filled looks the Uchiha's had. He knew from experience that Cattleya isn't easy to anger but she had **morals** that some Shinobi forgets.

Especially since he appeared in his Shinigami form.

Tajima and Shirou merely kept quiet. After all, they are not suicidal to further anger the Mistress of Death.

_(Yes, the remaining petty and immoral Elders absolutely **loathed and feared **her.)_

* * *

What Senju Kawarama remembered, he was killed by a squad of Uchiha then nothing.

So he was confused when he woke up and found himself sleeping in a very soft bed.

"Good morning, Senju-san." a lovely woman with black hair and ocean blue eyes greeted him. She was wearing a blue and white floor length dress. "My name is Matsuri, one of the maids of Lady Peverell. Good thing you are awake, breakfast is ready and Milady will be accompanying you back to the Senju Lands."

"Oh," Kawarama cannot help but to be stunned. "Thank you, Matsuri-san."

"I'm just doing my duty, Senju-san. Please follow me."

The boy followed Matsuri's instructions. Later, he found himself newly showered, wearing black long sleeve shirt, white cargo shorts, white flank jacket with Senju crest on its back. What finished his get up was the black running shoes.

_So comfortable ~__"_

_"Good to see you awake, _Kawarama-kun." the boy was pulled back to present when a voice spoke. Blinking, a cute older girl with enchanted emerald jewel colored eyes greeted him. She was wearing a black and green dress with too many ruffles. "Join me for breakfast?"

"W-who are you?" Kawarama asked as he sat on the table, two chairs away from her.

She let out an amused laugh. "My apologies. My name is Peverell Cattleya. You may call me Riri-chan if you prefer."

"Riri-chan, then." Kawarama smiled cheerfully. "May I know where are we?"

"Welcome to Peverell Manor, an alternate dimensional pocket above Naka River." The ten year old, almost eleven year old girl replied. "Time flows different from here. Twenty four hours outside equivalents to fourteen days here."

"Cool~!" the albino's eyes sparkle in awe before he turned serious. "Last thing I remembered, I died."

"You did, Kawarama-kun." Cattleya admitted. "I will tell you more after we have eaten. But to be honest, I would want for you to understand the full implication once you are fourteen."

Kawarama went silent as he nodded in understanding. "Please tell me the bare bones then. . just enough for Father to believe."

"That's why Matsuri will be with you." she placed several pancakes and waffles on the six year old's plate. "Take anything you want on the table."

"Matsuri-san?"

"Hai. It seems I have been neglecting my work so I need to finish those mountains of paperwork." Cattleya took a bite of her sandwich. "Pour syrup on those pancakes. They taste better."

Kawarama followed her instruction and poured banana syrup on his pancake. Tasting it, both Cattleya and Matsuri giggled seeing his blissful look.

"Are we loading him with too much sugar?" Matsuri asked. The raven haired version of Luvia Edelfelt felt pity since a sugar high kid is a nightmare to deal with.

"That's plain evil."

"Do you think I care about such thing, Matsuri?" amusement laced Cattleya's eyes. "Anyways, protect the brat and Itama-kun. You know the idiots."

"Of course, Milady." Matsuri replied. "I just have one last question."

The chibified witch stared at her, ignoring Kawarama flooding his food with sugar.

"It just that. . why do I look different than my siblings? They had white hair and wine red eyes while I have black and sapphire blue." the Homunculi doll twirled her curls.

Cattleya felt her eyebrow twitch.

"Because those annoying Uchiha's had been kidnapping your siblings! As their brides too! Something about strengthening the Sharingan and what not. Its just a bonus that all of you are way attractive than normal since you all looked like English."

"Oh," well, if you put it like that. .

* * *

**Senju Lands,**

**The **four Senju guards went alert when they saw a bouncy Kawarama Senju followed by a very attractive woman wearing a blue sleeveless and low neck dress that shows her generous cleavage.

The dress ended on her knees partnered with a pair of sky high wedge heels.

"Tojiro-san! Is Father and my siblings home?!" the sugar high kid asked.

"They are, Kawarama-san." Tojiro, one of the Senju Guards replied. "Who is the lovely woman accompanying you?"

"Matsuri Peverell, I am the Battle maid assigned to Kawarama-sama." Matsuri gave them a curtsey. "I also have a message from Ruler to Butsuma Senju along the remains if the Uchiha's who ambushed Bocchan."

The guards all looked at Kawarama who was blushing.

"STOP CALLING ME BOCCHAN!!"

"Of course not, Bocchan."

"Matsuri-san!!"

They were brought to Butsuma Senju. The clan head. Matsuri humored the guards when she allowed them to place chakra cuffs on her wrist.

"What do you want from us after returning Kawarama?" Butsuma asked. Beside him were the other Senju brothers.

Hashirama Senju, the Eldest, followed by Tobirama. Kawarama is the middle child while Itama is the youngest.

"Nothing, Senju-sama. I am merely following Ruler-sama's orders. My mission is to protect and cherish Bocchan. Nothing more, nothing less." Matsuri answered truthfully.

"We don't need you to do it." one of the Senju Elders pointed out.

"Be as it may. As one of Ruler-sama's Servants, I will do my duty. Kawarama-sama ended up as my Lady's ward when she rescued him." sapphire blue eyes meet Butsuma's graze head on. "Even if you killed me, Milady will send another one to takeover."

(_Matsuri now understand why her Masters likes trolling for shits and giggles. Seeing the Elders and Butsuma -sama almost bursting a blood vessel in sheer anger is so wonderful ~)_

In the end, The Senju's had no choice but to accept her into the fold.

(Unknown to her, her cleavage did help a bit.)

* * *

**Omake: **

***_Red eyed brides*_**

**Uchiha Hideout,****"YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!! DESIST ON KIDNAPPING MY SERVANTS!!!" **Cattleya shouted when even her personal twin maids Monday and Wednesday was kidnapped by the Uchiha Twins Ryuuki and Raiken.

"Oh oh. Hime is livid." Izuna spoke especially when a crystal dragon slammed upon the twins, freeing the Albino twins.

"Our Clansmen had this tradition of taking brides with red eyes in order to strengthened our Sharingan." Madara adjusted the twins Takumi and Yakumi on his chest. "That's why the Yuuhi Clan hates us."

"And Riri-neechan had a stash of red eyed brides as her Servants." Ryouta, who was four pointed out.

"Milady, please calm down." Wednesday said after punching Raiken on the groin same with Ryuuki.

"Calm down? _Calm down?! _Of course not! This madness should stop or the Uchiha's will be a hundred less after I'm finished!" Cattleya marched towards the Naka Shrine and barge in at the Clan Meeting.

"You know, we should stop her. " Ryouta pointed out.

"Eh, an angry Riri-chan is **somebody else problem**. I like my family jewels where they are." Madara admitted. "And our Clansmen are idiots. Riri-chan won't be mad if they just courted her servants and did not kidnapped them like that. "

"Madara-sama spoke the truth. We won't mind actually since those two are cute. " Monday shrugged her shoulders. "It's almost tea time and time for your calligraphy lessons. Where do you want to study, Madara-sama, Izuna-sama? Ryouta-sama, it's time for your bath too. "

"Can we study in The gardens? I don't want get roped cleaning blood at the shrine after Riri-chan's finished dealing with them. "The Uchiha Heir replied.

"Well then. after me, please. "

* * *

**Senju Lands,**

"Be careful when you grow up, Tobirama-sama. The Uchiha's had a bad habit kidnapping my siblings to be their brides." Matsuri spoke while she served the Senju Brothers her specialty Upside down orange cake.

Tobirama blinked. "Excuse me? "

"They like kidnapping red eye brides, be it a boy or a girl in order to strengthen the Sharingan. There is a reason why the Yuuhi Clan hated them. "

"Also. Tobi is very pretty. " Kawarama pointed out. earning a flying plate hitting his face. "TOBI-NIISAN!! "

"Stop calling me pretty! "

"But otouto is very pretty like Matsuri-san. " Hashirama argued.

"Dear Sage, we are not having this conversation!"


End file.
